I had a great dream in which a man walked over to me and gently placed my head between his knees (which could be construed as sexual but in the dream it was more like a gesture of paternalistic affection) and his trousers were so soft that with my confused dream-logic I thought they were velour (which would be ridiculous, even in a dream - they must have been corduroy or moleskin) and as he enacted this benevolent gesture he also managed to radiate an ineffable aura of financial security (perhaps aided by the smell of new clothes) and I thought I had died and gone to heaven.

i'm slowly going through this blog and tagging everything, so that you can easily revisit material from back when it was good. also i started a new blog about people getting angry on trademe and Cap City Snaps is running regularly again, despite a few problems last month. I live to serve

As a child I used to hang around my Dad while he was gardening. I remember asking him about weeds - which plants are weeds, why are they weeds, how is oxalis a weed when it has attractive flowers? Why have the tigerlilies become weeds? It was the first time that I was aware of a concept being dependant on human perception.
As an adult, I still give a lot of thought to the construction of everyday ideas; I still struggle with some of them.
Like 'single', as in the relationship category. What does this mean? Who describes themselves as single? Anyone without a partner? What about a widower? Does it imply availability?
What does the word 'single' make you think of?
Lean cuisine? The teacher from the Simpsons? NZDating.com?
I never had a boyfriend until I was 21, yet I wouldn't have described myself as single. Does 'single' imply expectation? Entitlement?
The one time I have described myself as single (other than for legal purposes) was when I was looking for a new flat. I said 'it's harder to find a place when you're single', meaning that I was looking for a single-person flat. I said it to my boyfriend. He was a bit put out

Modern Butt

And the winner for most fashionable butt-shape is the 'neck pillow'

yarra city snaps

I don't really like the idea of going around taking pictures when you're on holiday, but I did see three amazing things: a top-notch cumulus, a gurning otter (or something), and some dog meat with a silly name.
Thanks readers I now have 50 of you, which was a pretty nice christmas present. I'm not too cool to care guys. Thanks for your tacit validation over the years. My gift to you is increasing the font size, I just came to my senses and realised how annoying tiny type is.

worst slang of the year: babin'

worst fashion of the year: pleated coats

runner up worst fashion of the year: capes (capes are finished, you ruined them for everyone when you put pom-poms on them); nude wedge high heels; wedge heeled desert boots; wedge heeled anything

worst other things of the year: no further comment.

prediction for worst cultural appropriation/fashion statement 2012: turbans

If you're going to do it, do it this way (via Joan Collins Archive).

Sorry for that last post, I think I may be diluting the concept of my blog. Pretty much all the time.
Just want to share things with the world. So much to give.
So many childhood anecdotes that fail to make any point about my character or anyone else's.
So much guarded prose.
So many found images and so little to say about them.



Bitten Knudsen: a person the internet doesn't know much about. People try to talk to her on her FB fanpage but she's dead now. I was trying to find out what happened to her and there were these tribute videos on youtube that her friend made. Having some gathering to remember her, and the camera just awkwardly panning around the table. It was awful

the big questions

Why isn't Taylor Hanson still famous? He's fucken hot. Why were people only into him when he was like 11? That's a bit fucked up




Yeah I know he's married. Good for them. Real cute couple.




If anyone needs me I'll be working on my Hanfic.


(Yes this is actually a real thing that existed on livejournal in the 90s.)

which country has the most racist candy?

is it Finland?


Australia?


New Zealand?

Is the milky bar kid racist? Is it racist to cast a southeast asian child as the milky bar kid? Is it "PC gone mad"? Do you leave comments on Stuff.com articles? Is it wrong that the white eskimos are my favourite? Is candy exempt from racism?

tips for late night reading

been thinking about spending all my time trying to look like a VS model and having a boyfriend who would make me wear contact lenses whenever we were in public and say stuff like 'you're not going out in that are you?' and i have no idea what i would fill my days with but i expect it wouldn't be any lonelier than this.

look at me and tell me if you've known me before

there are three issues i would like to address, being: seizures, actors, and the transhumanist project.
to my mind these are closely linked, seizures being not inherently terrifying but a kind of physical metaphor for something worse. one of my co-workers had a seizure one morning, like 60 seconds after we got out of her car (she gave me a lift that day). and i was scared and everything, but it's just medical, just blood and convulsions which are pretty organic and non-threatening. i would be scared to have a seizure myself, but i've had a lot of memory loss from drinking which i guess is not that different, so maybe it would suit my repertoire.
then actors. you know that factoid that people throw around about the south american tribe who won't have their picture taken because they believe that it damages their souls or something? probably misquoted, but that's in the spirit of these things (these vaguely racist trivia about 'lost tribes'). a similar level of suspicion operates in my mind regarding actors, possibly in a similar vein (i don't like having my picture taken either, but that's because i have trouble recognising myself). maybe it is my congenital inability to lie, but if someone is an actor, how do you know if they are acting or not? a bad actor is ok, but what if they were really good, just acting at you all the time. and the recurrent sense that a person you meet has appeared to you before under a different name, in a different role, maybe several times.
which brings me to the transhumanists. i wrote about them for school a while ago, twice, and hopefully again soon. i can't generalise about the entire movement, but a significant number of them would consider it theoretically desirable to take someone who is dead, scan their brain with like an electron microscope or whatever, then reproduce the entire system on a computer. fucking terrible idea.
you see now right? i'm afraid that any rupture of consciousness, real or perceived, could be permanent. like a dead man on a hard drive.

open to submissions (testimonials, reviews, anecdotes, clip art)